MAIN INFORMATION
Hari Syama Das, originally from India, but lives in the USA.
Shahana Krishnan, UK.
Hari and Shahana met at a spiritual festival in Germany in 2017. Hari, a monk for over five years, was reluctant to start a relationship. However, eventually, they started talking and began a long-distance relationship.
They saw each other in February 2020 before Covid-19 hit. However, due to the pandemic, they only saw each other again in December 2020, at which point they got engaged.
They are currently 6,349 km apart.
Shahana Krishnan, UK.
Hari and Shahana met at a spiritual festival in Germany in 2017. Hari, a monk for over five years, was reluctant to start a relationship. However, eventually, they started talking and began a long-distance relationship.
They saw each other in February 2020 before Covid-19 hit. However, due to the pandemic, they only saw each other again in December 2020, at which point they got engaged.
They are currently 6,349 km apart.
STORY OF SEPARATION
“I felt this weird energy when I met him,” remembers Shahana of her first encounter with Hari. It was 2017, and the pair were at a spiritual festival in Germany. “I noticed her, and it was a strange feeling,” continues Hari. “I wanted to get to know who she was.” Hari, however, had been a monk for over five years, since he was 27, and found his interest in Shahana unsettling. Still, he couldn’t help but strike up a conversation with her, the first and only interaction they would have for more than a year. “We didn’t interact again, but I kept looking at her. I felt her presence,” he remembers. Shahana sent Hari a friend request on Facebook following the festival. He didn’t accept. Hari believed he’d committed to a life of monkshood and celibacy, and the fact this request excited him was frightening. “I felt if I talked to her, I would give up my monastic life. It would make me lose control,” he says.
The following year both Shahana and Hari returned to the festival. Hari tried his best to avoid her. “I thought he hated me or something,” says Shahana. But, they crossed paths again, and the tension was palpable. Eventually, Hari spoke to his guru and realised he needed to challenge his faith and quit his monastic life. “My life was too comfortable, and being a monk was too easy,” he says. “I couldn’t see any more challenges, and that scared me.” Hari finally accepted Shahana’s friend request, and the two began speaking. A friendship that quickly developed into a long-distance relationship with the pair travelling to see each other in person on several occasions. In February 2020, they parted ways, intending to reunite that June. But then Covid-19 hit, derailing their plans.
The following year both Shahana and Hari returned to the festival. Hari tried his best to avoid her. “I thought he hated me or something,” says Shahana. But, they crossed paths again, and the tension was palpable. Eventually, Hari spoke to his guru and realised he needed to challenge his faith and quit his monastic life. “My life was too comfortable, and being a monk was too easy,” he says. “I couldn’t see any more challenges, and that scared me.” Hari finally accepted Shahana’s friend request, and the two began speaking. A friendship that quickly developed into a long-distance relationship with the pair travelling to see each other in person on several occasions. In February 2020, they parted ways, intending to reunite that June. But then Covid-19 hit, derailing their plans.
“Every relationship is on a spectrum. Some people commit to being together all their lives without ever having met because it is an arranged marriage. Others take 18 months to decide that they want to be together. So this is what’s problematic with immigration instructions: they struggle to cope with all these different scenarios.“
Katy Armstrong, New Zealand Immigration
“Every relationship is on a spectrum. Some people commit to being together all their lives without ever having met because it is an arranged marriage. Others take 18 months to decide that they want to be together. So this is what’s problematic with immigration instructions: they struggle to cope with all these different scenarios.”
Katy Armstrong, New Zealand Immigration Advisor
TIME APART
“Love makes it hard to be a monk. But it doesn’t make it difficult to practice my spirituality,” says Hari. “Although spirituality can be more challenging in a relationship, it also makes the bond more dynamic.” Indeed, the pair’s spirituality has kept them strong throughout their separation, helping to bring them closer. “It’s a powerful binding force,” they reflect. “I feel inspired to be more purposeful with Hari,” continues Shahana. “I want to grow towards him and grow together to support each other.”
Regardless, the separation is difficult. “Looking forward to when we were going to see each other again and planning for it was our driving force,” they reflect. “Not knowing was tough.” However, the uncertainty also affirmed their connection. The possibility of not being together confirming how much they valued their relationship. “Covid-19 has made me realise that, even though we’re so far away from each other, she is a part of my life every day,” says Hari. “My body has two mind clocks. I’m split, and I live in two worlds. The thought of not being with her makes me feel like I can’t do anything.” When Hari and Shahana finally reunited in December 2020, they got engaged.
Regardless, the separation is difficult. “Looking forward to when we were going to see each other again and planning for it was our driving force,” they reflect. “Not knowing was tough.” However, the uncertainty also affirmed their connection. The possibility of not being together confirming how much they valued their relationship. “Covid-19 has made me realise that, even though we’re so far away from each other, she is a part of my life every day,” says Hari. “My body has two mind clocks. I’m split, and I live in two worlds. The thought of not being with her makes me feel like I can’t do anything.” When Hari and Shahana finally reunited in December 2020, they got engaged.
“Looking forward to the time that we would meet again and planning for that was my force. I put all my energy into it and it kept me distracted from the fact that I was hurting.”
Shahana Krishnan
“Looking forward to the time that we would meet again and planning for that was my force. I put all my energy into it and it kept me distracted from the fact that I was hurting.”
Shahana Krishnan
