MAIN INFORMATION
Felicia Nordin, Sweden.
Jay Carter, USA
Felicia and Jay first met while gaming online in 2018. They have been together for almost 3.5 years, but have always lived apart. In 2020 Felicia gave birth to their daughter Raelynn, but Jay missed the birth because he wasn’t able to travel in time.
They had been apart since August 2019 due to Covid-19, but in February 2021 Jay was finally able to travel to Sweden. They are apart again, but are hoping to live together in the US later this year.
They are currently 8,019 km apart.
Jay Carter, USA
Felicia and Jay first met while gaming online in 2018. They have been together for almost 3.5 years, but have always lived apart. In 2020 Felicia gave birth to their daughter Raelynn, but Jay missed the birth because he wasn’t able to travel in time.
They had been apart since August 2019 due to Covid-19, but in February 2021 Jay was finally able to travel to Sweden. They are apart again, but are hoping to live together in the US later this year.
They are currently 8,019 km apart.
STORY OF SEPARATION
“I started to realise I was going to miss my daughter’s birth,” says Jay, who, because of Covid-19, could not travel to be with Felicia in Sweden when she gave birth to their daughter, Raelynn, in May 2020. “It sucked because I wasn’t there to hold her hand.” Jay stayed on video call for the entirety of Felicia’s labour and met his newborn daughter over Facetime. And a lengthy and disordered immigration process meant Jay had to spend the first nine months of his daughter’s life getting to know her via video calls.
Felicia and Jay met online through the game Mission Strike. The virtual realm has been central to their relationship from the beginning. But, the arrival of their daughter made that hard. “It sucks to have to do everything by yourself. I’ve been doing this for months. I love it. But it would be so much better to do it together,” says Felicia. And it was painful for Jay having to miss the beginning of his daughter's life in person. "I would love to make her a bottle or change her pamper,” he says. After struggling with immigration for several months, the couple finally reunited in February 2021. And Jay met his then-nine-month-old baby for the first time.
Felicia and Jay met online through the game Mission Strike. The virtual realm has been central to their relationship from the beginning. But, the arrival of their daughter made that hard. “It sucks to have to do everything by yourself. I’ve been doing this for months. I love it. But it would be so much better to do it together,” says Felicia. And it was painful for Jay having to miss the beginning of his daughter's life in person. "I would love to make her a bottle or change her pamper,” he says. After struggling with immigration for several months, the couple finally reunited in February 2021. And Jay met his then-nine-month-old baby for the first time.
“We didn’t have a pre-prepared plan for shutting down EU borders to non-essential travel in case of a pandemic. It’s something that we decided was necessary at a certain point in March. We designed it very quickly to react to the circumstances. And how we did this was, when it comes to the definition of essential vs non-essential travel, more a political than a scientific process.”
Adalbert Jahnz, European Commission Spokesperson for Home Affairs, Migration and Citizenship
“We didn’t have a pre-prepared plan for shutting down EU borders to non-essential travel in case of a pandemic. It’s something that we decided was necessary at a certain point in March. We designed it very quickly to react to the circumstances. And how we did this was, when it comes to the definition of essential vs non-essential travel, more a political than a scientific process.”
Adalbert Jahnz, European Commission Spokesperson for Home Affairs, Migration and Citizenship
TIME APART
After more than a year of not seeing each other in person, Felicia and Jay were planning to meet in May 2020. Then Covid-19 struck. Felicia was heavily pregnant, and it slowly dawned on the couple that Jay wouldn't make it to Sweden for the birth: “She had to get through the stress of Covid-19, the stress of pregnancy, and me not being there.”
Felicia gave birth at 11:25 pm on Friday 15 May 2020. She was in labour for nine-and-a-half hours, and Jay stayed on the phone the entire time. But, it would be nine months until he got to meet his daughter in person. Felicia and Jay are not married, and because Jay was not present during the birth, they had to go through a Swedish family court to make him the official dad. The court sent papers for Jay to sign to the Swedish embassy in Washington. But, the embassy official assigned to the couple proved tricky to work with.
In late August 2019, the official explained Jay would need to take a DNA test, which was not possible due to Covid-19. The couple didn’t hear from her again for several months, despite calling and emailing repeatedly. She had pushed back their case because of the pause on DNA testing. When they finally got through, it transpired Jay could sign papers in place of doing a DNA test. It took another two months to organise this, and Jay had to fly to Las Vegas, Nevada, to sign: “He had to fly out to sign some form that took 10 minutes. And then we had to wait a month to get the forms back,” remembers Felicia.
The couple felt like their case was not taken seriously. And that this had cost Jay time that he could have spent with his newborn daughter. “I got so frustrated,” says Felicia. “We were waiting for nothing. It would have been so easy for her [the official] to pick up her phone, and we could have got this process started so much earlier.” The papers were finally approved in December 2020, enabling Jay to visit his family in Sweden in February 2021.
Felicia gave birth at 11:25 pm on Friday 15 May 2020. She was in labour for nine-and-a-half hours, and Jay stayed on the phone the entire time. But, it would be nine months until he got to meet his daughter in person. Felicia and Jay are not married, and because Jay was not present during the birth, they had to go through a Swedish family court to make him the official dad. The court sent papers for Jay to sign to the Swedish embassy in Washington. But, the embassy official assigned to the couple proved tricky to work with.
In late August 2019, the official explained Jay would need to take a DNA test, which was not possible due to Covid-19. The couple didn’t hear from her again for several months, despite calling and emailing repeatedly. She had pushed back their case because of the pause on DNA testing. When they finally got through, it transpired Jay could sign papers in place of doing a DNA test. It took another two months to organise this, and Jay had to fly to Las Vegas, Nevada, to sign: “He had to fly out to sign some form that took 10 minutes. And then we had to wait a month to get the forms back,” remembers Felicia.
The couple felt like their case was not taken seriously. And that this had cost Jay time that he could have spent with his newborn daughter. “I got so frustrated,” says Felicia. “We were waiting for nothing. It would have been so easy for her [the official] to pick up her phone, and we could have got this process started so much earlier.” The papers were finally approved in December 2020, enabling Jay to visit his family in Sweden in February 2021.
“It kinda sucked because I wasn’t there to hold her hand and get her through it, but I was lucky enough to be there through videochat to help her as much as I could. Just talk to her and tell her that she’s doing a good job. It was hard, but at the end of the day it was also good, because I didn’t completely miss it. It’s crazy to think that we started a relationship online and over the phone and now you’re gonna give birth over the phone. That’s what kinda made it easier, but I do wish I didn’t miss it. This whole Covid pandemic just got the best of everybody in some ways, you know?”
Jay Carter
“It kinda sucked because I wasn’t there to hold her hand and get her through it, but I was lucky enough to be there through videochat to help her as much as I could. Just talk to her and tell her that she’s doing a good job. It was hard, but at the end of the day it was also good, because I didn’t completely miss it. It’s crazy to think that we started a relationship online and over the phone and now you’re gonna give birth over the phone. That’s what kinda made it easier, but I do wish I didn’t miss it. This whole Covid pandemic just got the best of everybody in some ways, you know?”
Jay Carter
