Alejandra and Paul interview Krishni Metivier, Love is Not Tourism Campaigner.
Krishni Metivier is an activist, and PhD candidate at Duke University, Durham, North Carolina. Her subfield is in South Asian religions, which she studies from an ethnographic perspective. She contributes to the Love Is Not Tourism Community, rallying public and political support so that binational couples, separated by travel bans and border closures during Covid-19, may reunite. Love Is Not Tourism has grown into a global grassroots movement. Below, Metivier discusses the community and the relevance of its demands beyond the pandemic.
Krishni Metivier is an activist, and PhD candidate at Duke University, Durham, North Carolina. Her subfield is in South Asian religions, which she studies from an ethnographic perspective. She contributes to the Love Is Not Tourism Community, rallying public and political support so that binational couples, separated by travel bans and border closures during Covid-19, may reunite. Love Is Not Tourism has grown into a global grassroots movement. Below, Metivier discusses the community and the relevance of its demands beyond the pandemic.
Alejandra and Paul interview Krishni Metivier, Love is Not Tourism Campaigner.
Krishni Metivier is an activist, and PhD candidate at Duke University, Durham, North Carolina. Her subfield is in South Asian religions, which she studies from an ethnographic perspective. She contributes to the Love Is Not Tourism Community, rallying public and political support so that binational couples, separated by travel bans and border closures during Covid-19, may reunite. Love Is Not Tourism has grown into a global grassroots movement. Below, Metivier discusses the community and the relevance of its demands beyond the pandemic.
Krishni Metivier is an activist, and PhD candidate at Duke University, Durham, North Carolina. Her subfield is in South Asian religions, which she studies from an ethnographic perspective. She contributes to the Love Is Not Tourism Community, rallying public and political support so that binational couples, separated by travel bans and border closures during Covid-19, may reunite. Love Is Not Tourism has grown into a global grassroots movement. Below, Metivier discusses the community and the relevance of its demands beyond the pandemic.
A&P:
Can you please explain what Love Is Not Tourism is - how it was born, the circumstances that lead it to it being born, and what’s it for?
K:
Love is Not Tourism is a global grassroots movement that grew in response to governments putting in place generally unilateral travel restrictions in and out of their countries, in response to a pandemic which most people did not yet really understand.
“Some people thought December would be when we’re going to be able to see each other. When those ideas, hopes and dreams didn’t pan out, it pushed people to join, to be a part of this movement, because they say “ok what can I do? How can I fix this?”
“Some people thought December would be when we’re going to be able to see each other. When those ideas, hopes and dreams didn’t pan out, it pushed people to join, to be a part of this movement, because they say “ok what can I do? How can I fix this?”
It began when Danish citizens who were in binational relationships took it upon themselves to inform their government that their policies were causing irreparable harm on their own citizens lives and were interfering with things like family life, their ability to create families, their ability to get married, their ability to have fiancees, their ability to see their partners, to support their children, to be there for them, to see them, to hold them. It was a campaign to inform and then to reconcile.
They petition their government and they get the law changed, they get exemptions put in place. Other countries in the EU, began to self organise as well.
People started to see that they could actually do something, they felt empowered and that’s when you get the Love is Not Tourism movement, in the summer of 2020.
The movement keeps growing because these restrictions have continued to be in place for so long. Some people thought December would be when we’re going to be able to see each other. When those ideas, hopes and dreams didn’t pan out, it pushed people to join, to be a part of this movement, because they say “ok what can I do? How can I fix this? How can I remedy this?” It’s a bunch of people getting together and trying to figure out what is a safe and viable means and method for us to reunite in the midst of a pandemic, in the midst of travel bans and restrictions that we’ve never seen before.
They petition their government and they get the law changed, they get exemptions put in place. Other countries in the EU, began to self organise as well.
People started to see that they could actually do something, they felt empowered and that’s when you get the Love is Not Tourism movement, in the summer of 2020.
The movement keeps growing because these restrictions have continued to be in place for so long. Some people thought December would be when we’re going to be able to see each other. When those ideas, hopes and dreams didn’t pan out, it pushed people to join, to be a part of this movement, because they say “ok what can I do? How can I fix this? How can I remedy this?” It’s a bunch of people getting together and trying to figure out what is a safe and viable means and method for us to reunite in the midst of a pandemic, in the midst of travel bans and restrictions that we’ve never seen before.
A&P:
Do you have an idea of how many members the community is made up of right now? Do you have an idea of how many people this has affected?
K:
There are a couple of ways that one can get to the numbers. One way is through activity on Facebook, the people who have actively joined the groups, people who are followers on Twitter and things like that. If we use those numbers then the largest group has 42 thousand people all around the world. I know that another group, the Couples Separated by Travel Bans, was around 15 or 16 thousand last time I checked. There is some overlap between the groups, but they are not completely overlapping.
You also have to take into account that that is just one method and not everybody has Facebook. There are still people discovering these groups and places where they can communicate with one another.
There’s another way to think about the numbers too. From the US, one thing that we’ve done is to look at numbers related to visas, in other words to ask how many fiance visas and spousal visas go out every year to foreign nationals, ultimately for them to come to the US and reunite with their partners. The numbers then become a little larger, closer to 160k or 180k, just from the US. Those are numbers that are readily available through government websites which add up how many visas are going out for family members in a typical year.
It sounds like big numbers, but actually it is a very small number in comparison to the amount of international arrivals that come to the US in a typical year - roughly 40 million arrivals. They sound big without context, but in the context of international arrivals on a typical year, a couple of hundred thousand is tiny.
You also have to take into account that that is just one method and not everybody has Facebook. There are still people discovering these groups and places where they can communicate with one another.
There’s another way to think about the numbers too. From the US, one thing that we’ve done is to look at numbers related to visas, in other words to ask how many fiance visas and spousal visas go out every year to foreign nationals, ultimately for them to come to the US and reunite with their partners. The numbers then become a little larger, closer to 160k or 180k, just from the US. Those are numbers that are readily available through government websites which add up how many visas are going out for family members in a typical year.
It sounds like big numbers, but actually it is a very small number in comparison to the amount of international arrivals that come to the US in a typical year - roughly 40 million arrivals. They sound big without context, but in the context of international arrivals on a typical year, a couple of hundred thousand is tiny.
A&P:
What responses have the movement generated in the general public?What responses has the movement generated in the general public?
K:
The responses vary widely. For instance, the EU Commissioner, Ylva Johansson, responded positively to the movement back in the summer. She supported it, and the EU wrote specific recommendations to all EU countries to make exemptions for and facilitate the reunification of families, whether married or unmarried. Marriage does not define every relationship; significant relationships can exist outside of that framework. And, the LGBTQ community does not have marriage or partnership rights in some countries.
There is sympathy; people understand the pain. However, some people cannot be sympathetic because they’re also suffering from the pandemic. Sometimes people tell us to wait.
The responses also vary. For example, if a pregnant woman in the US is apart from her husband for the birth. Many people can no longer ignore that. It’s something they didn’t imagine was happening.
People sometimes react negatively because they think that reunification via international travel is unsafe. And is a direct or indirect cause of the growth of Covid-19 cases in the host country. But, we are not advocating for unsafe travel practices at all. We are one of the first movements or groups to say “yes please test us”.
There is sympathy; people understand the pain. However, some people cannot be sympathetic because they’re also suffering from the pandemic. Sometimes people tell us to wait.
The responses also vary. For example, if a pregnant woman in the US is apart from her husband for the birth. Many people can no longer ignore that. It’s something they didn’t imagine was happening.
People sometimes react negatively because they think that reunification via international travel is unsafe. And is a direct or indirect cause of the growth of Covid-19 cases in the host country. But, we are not advocating for unsafe travel practices at all. We are one of the first movements or groups to say “yes please test us”.
A&P:
What impact has the movement generated?
K:
The movement has grown significantly. We’ve also had positive results with governments changing their laws; that’s what allowed me to reunite. We wrote letters, we created Twitter storms, and we trended throughout 2020. That caught the attention of important people. Once they heard the stories, they started to change the laws. People in the Netherlands can reunite with their partners, people in Norway, the Czech Republic, Iceland, Austria, Switzerland, Finland, Germany, France, Spain, Lithuania. And that’s all because of people creating these advocacy templates and talking to their government and saying, "this is a solution that happened in Denmark, could we do the same thing here?”
Some governments are listening to people in their country and responding with great responsibility. In turn we also respond with great responsibility. We follow all of the rules that they implement along with these travel exemptions, whether it’s getting tested, whether it’s quarantining, all of these things we respect and respectfully will and do follow. We’ve been able to benefit because of that trust between the two groups, between our government listening to us and us listening to them.
We’ve also gotten the attention of media outlets. They’ve told our story to people who are not in this situation. That has helped garner support.
Some governments are listening to people in their country and responding with great responsibility. In turn we also respond with great responsibility. We follow all of the rules that they implement along with these travel exemptions, whether it’s getting tested, whether it’s quarantining, all of these things we respect and respectfully will and do follow. We’ve been able to benefit because of that trust between the two groups, between our government listening to us and us listening to them.
We’ve also gotten the attention of media outlets. They’ve told our story to people who are not in this situation. That has helped garner support.
“The community creates spaces that are healing and supportive when we are frustrated, when we feel lost, when we feel depressed and when we have no hope. All of those emotions are not infrequent. People are scared and sad. They’re miserable, depressed, and we share that. This is a space of support.”
“The community creates spaces that are healing and supportive when we are frustrated, when we feel lost, when we feel depressed and when we have no hope. All of those emotions are not infrequent. People are scared and sad. They’re miserable, depressed, and we share that. This is a space of support.”
A&P:
In a sense, the movement has become a community. Could you tell us a bit about what kind of purpose the movement serves beyond alerting governments to these problems and trying to implement change and exemptions on travel bans?
K:
The community creates spaces that are healing and supportive when we are frustrated, when we feel lost, when we feel depressed and when we have no hope. All of those emotions are not infrequent. People are scared and sad. They’re miserable, depressed, and we share that. This is a space of support.
This is also a community that celebrates a lot. We celebrate every time people reunite so that they can get married, or see the birth of their child, or their children. We share pictures, videos, everything about it. Within a few hours, there will be hundreds of likes on these videos and people commenting saying, “congratulations, you’re giving us hope, you’re giving us something to believe in”. Seeing those successes alongside the sadness, that’s what a community is for. It is somewhere one can celebrate and find support.
This is also a community that celebrates a lot. We celebrate every time people reunite so that they can get married, or see the birth of their child, or their children. We share pictures, videos, everything about it. Within a few hours, there will be hundreds of likes on these videos and people commenting saying, “congratulations, you’re giving us hope, you’re giving us something to believe in”. Seeing those successes alongside the sadness, that’s what a community is for. It is somewhere one can celebrate and find support.
A&P:
The movement highlights a problem beyond the pandemic. The definition that exists around the concept of a relationship, around the idea of love. Does Love Is Not Tourism have a place beyond Covid-19?
K:
We are familiar with the shortcomings of our immigration systems; they are outdated. Many are from the sixties and seventies, and they do not reflect modern relationships. They can't handle a globalised world.
So the future of Love is Not Tourism, as I see it, is to inform governments about how the everyday person is creating a relationship and how milestones like marriage may not be at the forefront of people’s minds any more. They are willing to commit, seriously commit to somebody, have children with them, have a home with them and not be married. They may not have a marriage certificate. But, that doesn’t mean that the partnership is inherently less valuable, important, or meaningful.
However, even if people are committed to marrying, it’s not a simple and easy solution to reunite because getting spousal and fiance visas can take one to two years. Systems that perpetuate harm all the time but, we just never noticed it before. It would blow people’s minds if some of the K1 visa applicants told the average American what they have to go through to be a fiance.
And to say that they don’t have a level of commitment that is as meaningful or as real as a married couple who can go to Las Vegas and get married on the spur of the moment is something I disagree with. What these binational couples are willing to go through is a testament to their commitment.
So the future of Love is Not Tourism, as I see it, is to inform governments about how the everyday person is creating a relationship and how milestones like marriage may not be at the forefront of people’s minds any more. They are willing to commit, seriously commit to somebody, have children with them, have a home with them and not be married. They may not have a marriage certificate. But, that doesn’t mean that the partnership is inherently less valuable, important, or meaningful.
However, even if people are committed to marrying, it’s not a simple and easy solution to reunite because getting spousal and fiance visas can take one to two years. Systems that perpetuate harm all the time but, we just never noticed it before. It would blow people’s minds if some of the K1 visa applicants told the average American what they have to go through to be a fiance.
And to say that they don’t have a level of commitment that is as meaningful or as real as a married couple who can go to Las Vegas and get married on the spur of the moment is something I disagree with. What these binational couples are willing to go through is a testament to their commitment.
“A marriage license should not define the modern family of the 21st century. That is discriminatory.”
“A marriage license should not define the modern family of the 21st century. That is discriminatory.”
We also notice that if you’re dating a US citizen there isn’t a visa to just visit. You can use the tourist visa to do that, but if you tell an immigraiton office that you have a significant relationship with somebody in the US they may not let you in because they think you may stay in the US illegally.
What to speak of our immigration system if we are not even able to say I am actually dating somebody in the US to our agent because we are at risk of not being allowed in the country? People travel a lot more than they used to, so you’re bound to have several thousand relationships created every year across borders. It’s inevitable, and it’s unavoidable.
You can’t choose who you fall in love with, and we should not have these archaic laws that say you need to continue to marry people who have identical citizenship to yours.
As a community, our immediate goal is for humanitarian exemptions, and we’ll be happy if we get that. But, it wouldn't surprise me if a new movement is born out of this. A marriage license should not define the modern family of the 21st century. That is discriminatory. And it's clear to me that our governments have not yet fully understood or considered the unique characteristics or needs of binational couples when creating immigration policy.
Most governments are in support of the economic, technological and innovative growth that occurs in their countries, but are they prepared to deal with the consequences of that, and are they going to punish people for living in those kinds of societies, which are not necessarily their choice? It’s things that are funded by the government, things that are actually getting grants and support. Are they going to continue to grow in this way, are they going to continue to create societies in this way, these very connected and honestly beautiful societies? If they are going to do that they shouldn’t burden the common person for being a part of that society and trying to grow their life in it.
This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
What to speak of our immigration system if we are not even able to say I am actually dating somebody in the US to our agent because we are at risk of not being allowed in the country? People travel a lot more than they used to, so you’re bound to have several thousand relationships created every year across borders. It’s inevitable, and it’s unavoidable.
You can’t choose who you fall in love with, and we should not have these archaic laws that say you need to continue to marry people who have identical citizenship to yours.
As a community, our immediate goal is for humanitarian exemptions, and we’ll be happy if we get that. But, it wouldn't surprise me if a new movement is born out of this. A marriage license should not define the modern family of the 21st century. That is discriminatory. And it's clear to me that our governments have not yet fully understood or considered the unique characteristics or needs of binational couples when creating immigration policy.
Most governments are in support of the economic, technological and innovative growth that occurs in their countries, but are they prepared to deal with the consequences of that, and are they going to punish people for living in those kinds of societies, which are not necessarily their choice? It’s things that are funded by the government, things that are actually getting grants and support. Are they going to continue to grow in this way, are they going to continue to create societies in this way, these very connected and honestly beautiful societies? If they are going to do that they shouldn’t burden the common person for being a part of that society and trying to grow their life in it.
This conversation has been edited for length and clarity.
